Sectarian wank and spending time wisely

     Last weekend, we went for iftar at the home of some friends of friends. It was my first time meeting them and everyone seemed nice enough. After dinner, we all gathered outside to smoke arghileh and drink coffee. A typical summer gathering for us.
     Until, that is, the lady of the house, who was seated near me, started holding forth on all matters religious. Fine. Her house, right? But she would brook no dissent. She informed us that polygamy is legal in some US states, unless Muslims do it, in which case it's vigorously prosecuted. 
     Amid murmured protests, I countered that polygamy is illegal in all states and that even if it weren't, there is a federal law in place anyway, so that takes care of the issue. I added that it's not often prosecuted no matter who's doing it, unless those engaged in it are also involved in other crimes. Says she, "I doubt you've done as much research on it as I have." (She told us she'd watched a documentary about it.) I informed her that I'd recently completed a scholarly article on the topic of Muslim polygyny in the U.S., so had read a good deal of the existing literature on the topic.
     When I said "scholarly article" she immediately went on the defensive. "I go to college too. No one else in my family has, so they depend on me for information. I have to make sure I know what I'm talking about." (She's in her first year of nursing school.)
     Seeing my husband's pleading look, I let the matter drop. I shrugged, "As you like." We moved on, she and I avoiding eye contact. Until she turned on me and said, "Which madhab do you guys follow?"I informed her that we're Sunni and that while my husband prefers one madhab to another, I follow no madhab. She informed me that not following a madhab is haraam. "You have to follow a scholar," says she. I responded that "following" anyone is the antithesis of Islam. I added that I was unfamiliar with Shi'a thought on the matter, prepared once again to let it drop. From left field she said that she didn't understand how the Sunna could just make du'a any old way. "Our way is better, we have the most beautiful du'a and they're all written out for us."      
     That was the beginning of the end. From there, the conversation degenerated into why Shi'a are superior in every way. I clammed up, remarking only that I don't have a dog in that fight, but it's best not to piss on another Muslim's beliefs.
     Now it was my turn to signal my husband and we left with insincere promises of getting together soon, etc. I ranted for 20 minutes on the way home and thought no more about it. Until a few days ago when my husband chuckled while informing me that the woman in question had told all of our mutual friends that I was terribly misguided, don't believe in hadith, and pretty much cursed Ahl al Bait. I chalked it up to simple misunderstanding, rather than outright lies, as I did state my position on hadith, which might easily be misunderstood by a bad listener solely focused on what they're going to say next. I dismissed her, relieved that I'd never have to see her again.
     Until today, when my husband, in near hysterics from laughter this time, told me that so-and-so called one of our mutual friends and asked her to bring me to lunch because she really liked talking to me last time. I told my husband that I'd rather eat dirt.
     This woman might very well have had a fine time trying to bully me, and a few years ago, I likely would have agreed to lunch with her in the interest of being "nice." But I've realized since that life is short and my time is too valuable to be spent with those whose company I don't enjoy. This may make me less "nice," and I'm sure there are those who might say that I should go see this insufferable woman again simply because she's Muslim. To those people I'd say, you go sit with her.